EXTRACTS FROM THE CHRONICLES OF A
BORN AGAIN BIKER
Up to Xmas 2006
Bike still in garage unused - wife views it suspiciously saying it looks bigger than the other one ...
October 2006 - Receive letter from magistrate's court - driver of lorry to return to UK for trial still pleading not guilty - arrive at court and directed to witness room - meet people who witnessed the accident for the first time - thanked them for their help - interesting discussion on how accident happened with details that I wasn't aware of - warned by witness liaison not to discuss details of case - prosecuting solicitor enters room to give us our witness statements - driver still pleading not guilty - we carefully exchange documents when witness liaison persons back is turned - 45 minutes later solicitor returns - driver changes plea to guilty - given permission to enter court to follow proceedings with warning to speak only when spoken to - lead magistrate proceeds to severely admonish the driver for wasting the courts time on a not guilty plea - his translator looks distressed - by voice tone and body language appears to inform him of the deep shit he's in - sentencing proceeds - magistrate asks if I'm in court - enquires after my health and states having heard all of the evidence that I'm very lucky to be alive and un-injured - driver banned from driving in UK for 4 months - gives compensation order of £600 for my excess insurance loss and sufferings - wry smile when driver asks if he can still drive his lorry back to Czech Republic - magistrate nearly apoplectic - warns him faces custodial sentence if he attempts to drive in UK - felt almost sorry for the driver but could afford compassion as I'm still alive, uninjured and now in position to make personal injury claims against his insurers.
November 2006 - Bike still in garage unused - wife views it suspiciously saying it looks bigger than the other one - proudly keep from making smart arsed response - she says that as the bike is allegedly the dogs testicles and more expensive than previous bike you won't need to buy anything off e-bay - damnation - cornered - have to agree - fingers crossed behind back - can't find enthusiasm to fettle the bike so winterise it and cover over - at least it's out of wife's radar.
December 2006 - Ongoing lower back/shoulder/neck pain leading to extreme discomfort - back pain now causes excruciating sciatic problems down left side - cannot bend / sit /drive /work - only relief by standing upright or lying prone - wife finds me frequently lying prone on lounge carpet and accuses me of being the worse for drink (I wish) - increased dosage of Ibrufen fails to help - consultation with doctor results in very strong pain killers being prescribed and a referral to LRI physiotherapy department - appointment expected within 3 to 4 months! - non alcoholic miserable Xmas possibility - but have support of wife and daughter until Xmas day when unwrapped walking stick as present - hooked end useful for tripping them over as they went by - claimed not intentional as had to learn how to master controls - tandem abuse set to the music of "deck his balls with boughs of holly" - well that's what it sounded like.
Thought it was well put together. A good read. Reminds me of my good wife.
Like his sense of humour. Appreciate the trials and tribulations of fending off a suspicious wife, we have all been there. Some good one liners are a bonus.