You would think that, being ten years retired from a lifetime of dodging work, I'd be an expert at doing nowt.
But this self-isolation is taking idleness to a whole new level!
What has been keeping you occupied this week? We are desperate to find new activities that will keep us from tackling our backlog of rally badges.
I think we just about completed Phil the Spill's accounts of rallies in 1992 when we added his report, photos and video of the Pissed as a Parrot rally of that year.
Hans Veenendaal has been busier than ever this past week with two updates. However, Hans is reporting almost more cancellations and postponements than new rallies. There are now 1,775 rallies planned for the rest of 2020. Here is our usual caveat...
Embers probably cycled more miles this past week than we usually cover. Regrettably it is all done solo or in family units.
However, Peter Wright and Richard Clark put their heads together (virtually!) and created a WhatsApp group so we can all stay in close
Our first conversation is posted in our Cycling March page in lieu of a ride report. Maybe next week's report will contain selfies of individual Embers taking exercise.
Our Skype Night is another way we regularly keep in contact. Tony and Val Loach have been advised to self-isolate for health reasons so Skype is one of their few options. Meanwhile, Alan Jarvis in Canada doesn't see anything unusual about being holed up for the winter. He is still snowed in.
By the time of our next Skype Night on we are hoping we'll be seeing an improvement of this situation.
Badges: I have said I will do them and I will do them!
There is no need to keep reminding me every six months.
I'm pleased to report that quite a few past members and friends have been phoning, emailing and messaging to let us know they are alive and well.
It is especially welcome to get your news just now. Have you been in contact yet?
The following is an actual question given to a University of Arizona Chemistry class mid-term and an actual answer turned in by a student. The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues via the Internet, which is of course why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student however, wrote the following:
First we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving, which is unlikely. I think that we can safely assume that
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.
Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.
Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
Now we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell, because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Anabella during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.
The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore extinct, .... leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Anabella kept shouting 'Oh my God.'
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.