Spare a thought for our correspondent, Jean-Francois Helias. Four people at his condo have tested positive for COVID-19 so everyone has to isolate for two weeks.

"Cheer up," they said, "things could be worse." So we cheered up, and sure enough...

Ben
ben@honsec.co.uk

Rallies

We added another 47 E Rally Badges from Jean-Francois Helias this week. That brings the page total up to 243 badges for 89 rallies from Eagle Has Flown to Exe.

Rally badges A to Z now total 6640 and, since he's confined to barracks, Francois is sending more badges by the truck-load.

Before Hans Veenendaal set off on his latest travels he sent a parting shot to update his Rally Listing. Don't get excited, it was to let us know about another 28 cancellations and 4 postponements. "Oh, bugger."


Yesteryear Part 10

Another episode of Francois' Yesteryear series went on-line to bring Yvonne Degraine, Adeline and Augusta van Buren to your attention.

Pioneering women riders who would have been the celebrities of their time. We get some idea of their indomitable spirits from Francois' tributes.


Moto Guzzi California

John Heaven sings the praises of his Moto Guzzi California EV in our Motorbike section.

John tours extensively in the comfort of the red lady's upholstery and has no intention of trading her.

What bike did you keep longest? Or wish you'd kept longest!


Ben's Trident Part 4

Another chapter in the long ownership of my Trident T160V tells of the happy years riding it with the Leicester Phoenix Motorcycle Club.
(that's what LPMCC stands for - happy years!)

Maybe I shouldn't describe it as an "expensive toy" but - boy, did I have fun playing with it! The photo above is of the club teams after a successful 1970s National Rally.


Run Badges

Like I said, truck-loads! This week we added another 66 Run Badges from Francois.

There are a lot of badges for a lot of rides. They went a lot of miles and they go back a lot of years.

Cycling May

We are hoping this is our last week of Embers riding in small groups on different days. Southern and Eastern Groups rode on Thursday. Northern Group sets off today (Friday) so this week's report will be posted on the website soon.

Until then you can see a preview of our June rides with our start locations and an idea of where we went in the past.

Let's not get too far ahead of ourselves. We still have a few rides to complete in May. On we are setting out from Shady Lane car park at 10am in the (vain) hope that the Gartree Road will be rideable. If it's too muddy we'll stay on tarmac roads on our way to a pub.


Club Night

On the Club is back inside its proper home at the Elephant & Castle, Thurlaston. Please stay seated throughout the performance.


Skype Night

Next Skype Night is on because we have so much to say we need to keep our virtual meetings on a weekly basis.


Foz Spot

I was desperate and I couldn't get a date with a girl to save my life until...

I swiped right on a blind date, a profile picture. She asked me to pick her up, so I did, but I wasn't expecting much. I went up to the door expecting 400lbs of desperation, but she answered the door 5 foot 2 with baby blue eyes, strawberry blonde curls and all the right curves in all the right places.

I said WOW and gave her my name. She gave me hers, so I asked what she did.

She said "I'm a Sunday school teacher."

I said "Well, I ain't never been with a Christian woman before but I'm open minded about the whole affair."

So we got in my car and I was trying to impress her now. I headed to the fanciest place in town that didn't need a reservation. I asked her if she'd like to smoke a joint while we waited.

She said "Heavens no! What would I tell my Sunday school children?" And I apologised.

I figure weed's 50/50, some people do, some people don't, so I took a few puffs and then we got a table.

She ordered the lobster, I ordered the steak. I asked for the 2nd most expensive bottle of wine on the list, but when our waiter came to pour it, she declined saying "Heavens no! What would I tell my Sunday school children?"

I knew right then and there it was a bust. We ate our pricey meals. We talked and laughed. Had a great time at dinner but I drank that whole pricey bottle by myself thinking her Christ was one helluva cock blocker.

Driving her home we passed a cheap motel. I figured I'd got nothing left to lose, so I said "Why don't we get a room and make like bunnies?"

She said "I thought you'd never ask!"

I said "really? What will you tell your Sunday school children?"

She said, "The same thing I tell them every week...

"YOU DON'T HAVE TO DRINK AND SMOKE TO HAVE A GOOD TIME!"


Coming Soon

Next week we have reports for the King John rally by Hans Mondorf, Yesteryear Part 11 by Francois, Part 5 of Ben's Trident, L rally and club badges from Jean-Quarantine Helias.