Next week's News Update will be late by a day or two and may very well not appear at all.

Apart from that, life will go on pretty much the same I expect.

Ben

ben@honsec.co.uk

Rally Reports

Beard (that's his moniker) sent greetings to old pals from the North Mids MCC but I don't have email addresses to send his message on. Therefore it has been appended to the Notted Bear report. Pass it on.

Phil the Spill reliably came up with the goods on the 1988 Prickly Pair rally organised by Hedgehog MCC in Yorkshire where Phil recalls a lot of scenery. So that's what it's called.

We managed to add a few of Phillip Cross's photos to the Highland Fling report to show what happened at the first of this series. It looked cold enough to freeze parts off a Highland piper.

Nothing to do with the Highland Fling but we added a dozen H Badges thanks to Heather MacGregor sending scans of Paul (Wilf) Bartholomew's badges. These were for the Hoeselt rally that needs someone to tell the tale.


Rally Listing

You can darn near hear Hans Veenendaal's fingernails dragging down his computer monitor as he clings on for one more rally in 2018. But Hans is getting traction with an additional 50 Treffen for next year.

The PDF download still covers all of this year and what we have so far for 2019.


Cycling October

Help! I think John Ashworth is trying to kill me - judging by the hills he made me cycle up this week. If it wasn't for the promise of lunch at the Stilton Cheese in Somerby and cake afterwards I'd have given in and gone home.

A brilliant day despite the hills.

We have a fondness for the Red Lion in Huncote where we are meeting on Thursday, 25 October. I don't think it's because the Club met there for many years in the 1980s; none of the Embers were members by then. It must have summat to do with their lunches.

Derek Jordan has been proper poorly the past couple of weeks and we wish him a speedy recovery. He better be fit by Thursday, 1 November because we are all going round his house to start our cycle ride from there.

Skype Night

Next Skype Night is on Wednesday, 31 October. We're hoping to have mastered Skype by then because Microsoft are planning to pull the plug on our favourite version 7 on 1st November. Install version 7 while you have the chance and disable updates!


Fileless Malware

This is not the Foz Spot! It is serious.

New malware exploits do not write files to your hard drive or install virus programs. They lodge in memory and run using Windows system files. Antivirus software therefore neither prevents nor removes them.

One way you can make your system safer is to disable PowerShell. Here is how.

Open Control Panel and click Programs and Features.

Near the top left you will see Turn Windows features on or off. Click that.

In the pop-up, scroll to near the bottom and find Windows PowerShell. UNtick the box next to it and OK.

There is a high tech solution if your computer begins to behave strangely...

Turn it off and turn it on again.

This isn't a spoof. I'm serious.


Foz Spot

OK. This is the Foz Spot.

An old physician, Doctor Gordon Geezer, became very bored in retirement and decided to re-open a medical clinic.

He put a sign up outside that said: "Dr Geezer's clinic. Get your treatment for $500 - if not cured, get back $1,000."

Doctor Digger Young, who was positive that this old geezer didn't know beans about medicine, thought this would be a great opportunity to get $1,000. So he went to Dr Geezer's clinic.

Dr Young: "Dr Geezer, I have lost all taste in my mouth. Can you please help me?"

Dr Geezer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in Dr Young's mouth."

Dr Young: 'Aaagh! -- This is Gasoline!"

Dr Geezer: "Congratulations! You've got your taste back. That will be $500."

Dr Young got annoyed and went back after a couple of days figuring to recover his money.

Dr Young: "I have lost my memory, I cannot remember anything."

Dr Geezer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient's mouth."

Dr Young: "Oh, no you don't - that is Gasoline!"

Dr Geezer: "Congratulations! You've got your memory back. That will be $500."

Dr Young (after having lost $1000) left angrily and came back after several more days.

Dr Young: "My eyesight has become weak - I can hardly see anything!"

Dr Geezer: "Well, I don't have any medicine for that so, "Here's your $1000 back" (giving him a $10 bill).

Dr Young: "But this is only $10!"

Dr Geezer: "Congratulations! You got your vision back! That will be $500."

Moral of story - Just because you're "Young" doesn't mean that you can outsmart an "old Geezer"

Remember: Don't make old people mad. We don't like being old in the first place, so it doesn't take much to piss us off.


Coming Soon

Usual additions next week. Just the News that may go AWOL..